


Playing House

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Series: Land and Sea [15]
Category: Poldark - All Media Types, Return to Treasure Island (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Moving House
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:30:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started with a fill for the Summer Fandom Raffle Exchange Prompts No. 11 and 118 - Aziz, light! and Put The Candle Back.</p><p>The boys move in together and it's hard to tell who the bigger dork is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> This will happen about mid year after Riptide, about a month after Jim gets back from his six month deployment.

The first day was interesting.

Jim had at least some exposure to the mechanics and logistics of moving in with a partner. And Ross had lived with Carter and Holmewood for the past six years so technically he should have had a clue. But apparently the two of them combined seemed to cancel each other out. That and the frankly mind-blowing thought of being able to shag anywhere at any time with no restrictions whatsoever appeared to have caused both of them to metamorphose into rambling idiots.

Not only that but the cottage itself was not without its quirks. They knew what they were getting into and there were already quotes for work that needed to be done, although they had taken the precaution of leaving themselves a month before they moved in to get the most important things like the plumbing and electrical wiring done. The cleaning company had given it a thorough detail from top to bottom and so they were assuming that when they walked up to the front door on their official moving in day, things would be fairly sorted out.

Jim closed the door of his car and looked up at the house that was now theirs. The words had a nice ring to them.

Their home. Theirs. His and Ross’.

He spent some time looking at the front, the whitewashed plaster setting off the thatched roof with the wildly overgrown rambling rose trailing up one side. The front garden was bordered on one side by a footpath that led down into the woodlands behind the house and a thick stand of trees on the other. Jim knew that the back garden was a stretch of flat lawn, the grass about a foot long by now, and then the woodland behind. He ran a critical eye over the windows, which had had the old wooden frames replaced with new ones, and then went to the front window and peered inside. The house was in darkness.

He heard the sound of the Land Rover and turned, watching Ross pull up behind his car. He was towing the trailer behind him that held their combined collection of boxes and Jim’s bike. There were more boxes in the back of the Land Rover and Jim’s GTI was packed with various bags. He smiled as Ross killed the engine and got out.

‘You got here quick.’ Ross said as he came towards him. He kissed Jim when he got to him and smiled. ‘Fucking boy racer.’

‘Not my fault you’ve got an old man’s car.’ Jim retorted.

‘I’ll have you know that is one of the finest examples of British engineering.’ Ross said. ‘Unlike your foreign car.’

‘Yeah.’ Jim grinned. ‘My foreign car that hasn’t failed an MOT in eleven years and never breaks down.’

‘Technicalities.’ Ross said. He stretched and yawned. Jim watched him with amusement.

‘You’ve only driven from Portsmouth.’ he said.

‘Yes, but I didn’t sleep very well.’ Ross rubbed his eyes. ‘It’s kind of hard to sleep with you three screeching like banshees until three in the morning.’ They’d spent the previous night crashing on the girls’ living room floor.

‘You could have stayed up.’ Jim said. ‘You missed the last two films.’

‘One was enough, thank you.’ Ross said. ‘And I had no urge to watch that stuff you dug up. It looked ancient.’

‘Caddyshack is a fucking classic, Ross.’ Jim said. ‘You just have no taste.’

‘I know. That’s why I’m with you.’ Ross laughed and narrowly avoided the swipe aimed at him. ‘Now stop dicking around looking at the flowers and help me unpack.’

‘No.’ Jim said. He held out a hand to Ross. ‘You got your keys?’ Ross frowned but dug them out of his pocket. They were on a keyring shaped like an anchor, a present Jim had given him the night before.

‘You forget yours?’ he asked.

‘No.’ Jim said. ‘But it will be easier to use yours.’ Then, without giving Ross any warning whatsoever, he bent over and heaved Ross over one shoulder, making him splutter in indignation.

‘Put me the fuck down!’ he said, trying to wriggle out of Jim’s grasp, but Jim simply held on and eventually Ross folded his arms and huffed.

‘You done?’ Jim asked and got a snort in reply. ‘Can we go in the house now?’

‘I should be the one doing the carrying.’ Ross muttered. ‘I’m older than you.’

‘By six fucking months.’ Jim replied. He gave Ross a slap on the backside, grinning when that set off a fresh bout of wriggling. ‘Let’s get you inside, Mrs Hawkins.’

‘Fuck you.’ Ross grumbled. ‘And you’re the one with the name badge, remember.’ He sighed as Jim carried him to the front door and then turned so he could unlock it, which was unsurprisingly difficult because he was hanging upside down. Finally he got the door open and Jim carried him into the front hall. The house wasn’t big, and it was old, but they had both loved it on first sight, Ross when he bought it and Jim when Ross had shown it to him. Of course it helped that Rose had had some insight. And it was only ten minutes’ walk to Kimmeridge Bay where Jim liked to go swimming and ten minutes’ drive to Lulworth Range. Jim’s boots resounded on the scarred wooden floor, and then he set Ross down. They looked around them and then caught each other’s eye and grinned like idiots. Jim reached out and smacked Ross in the stomach with the back of his hand, making him double over.

‘Tag, you’re it.’ he laughed and then took off heading down the hall and up the stairs.

‘Wanker!’ Ross shouted after him before bursting into laughter and chasing him down the hall. Jim was halfway up the stairs by the time Ross got to the foot of them, and he bounded up two at a time until he got to the top, hearing Jim’s low breathless giggles coming from the room that would be their new bedroom.

There was a lot of discussion over respective heights. There had been measuring and confirmation that Ross was exactly four inches taller than Jim was. But now those four extra inches made a difference. And in his excitement, Ross had completely forgotten that the cottage he’d bought for him and his paramour was dated to the eighteenth century. And this meant low hanging beams.

Jim heard the howl and immediately jumped up off their unmade bed and hurtled onto the landing to find Ross sitting on the floor, hand to his head and gritting his teeth in pain.

‘What the fuck?’ he exclaimed only for Ross to point an accusing finger at the low hanging lintel that crossed the entrance to the landing.

‘That’s fucking coming the fuck down.’ he gritted out.

*********

The water was thankfully connected and Jim dug a dish cloth from the kitchen box and an ice pack from the coolbox that would double up as their fridge until the fridge was delivered the next day. He wet the cloth and then wrapped the ice pack in it and went to where Ross was sitting on their kitchen table (a thankfully very sturdy oak affair donated by Rose from the pub storeroom). He pressed it gently to the now egg sized bump on Ross’ forehead and looked at him critically.

‘I still think we should take you to A & E.’ he said and Ross grimaced at the cold.

‘No.’ he said. ‘I know what a concussion feels like, and this is just a bad bump. I’ll be fine and I’m not missing our first night in our house.’ Jim sighed in resignation.

‘All right, but the second you feel dizzy or nauseous off we fucking go.’ he said. ‘You’re going to have to remember that or there’s going to be a lot of these.’

‘Bloody dwarf ancestors that’s what.’ Ross muttered. ‘Why the fuck was everyone so short back then.’ He saw Jim open his mouth to deliver a no doubt very academic explanation and waved him off. ‘That was a rhetorical question, Jim. I really don’t want to fucking know.’ He sighed. ‘It’s all right for you, you fucking duck instinctively.’

‘And you sit cramped up in fucking tanks.’ Jim replied, smiling at the grumpy face. ‘How the hell you do this is beyond me.’ He removed the ice pack and have the bump a butterfly soft kiss. ‘Silly boy.’ He placed the pack in Ross’ hand and pressed it back in place. ‘Keep that on until it gets warm, then we’ll change it out for a cold one.’

‘Where are you going?’ Ross asked, a little plaintively.

‘To unpack, unless you’re planning on living like this.’ Jim said grinning. He left Ross on the table and started a steady march between the house and the car, carrying the boxes from the trailer and the Land Rover, then grabbing the bags from the back of his car. He was sweating by the time he’d finished and came into the kitchen with the coolbox, heaving it up onto the table next to Ross and opening it, fishing out a beer and then knocking the cap off with the edge of the table. Ross smiled at that. He’d taught Jim the trick when they’d first lived together for those two months which now seemed so far away, although it was only a year before. He handed Ross the beer and then opened a second one for himself. ‘How’s the head?’

‘Hurts like a motherfucker.’ Ross winced as he lowered the ice pack for Jim to have a look.

‘You’re going to have one hell of a bruise tomorrow. No headboard banging for you tonight, Poldark.’

‘Fuck off again.’ Ross retorted. ‘We’re breaking in that fucking bed, even if I have to hold you down and ride you.’

‘Now that is a very interesting prospect.’ Jim grinned. ‘But maybe we should see how you feel.’ He looked around and then located the light switch but when he went to turn it on there was a distinct lack of illumination. ‘Uh, Ross? Did you call Southern Electric?’

‘What for?’ Ross asked, seemingly unconcerned.

‘So that we have that wonderful modern convenience known as electricity?’ Jim said. ‘It’s pretty dark and I don’t really feel like stumbling around the house.’

‘You were supposed to do that.’ Ross said. ‘I was in charge of water and council tax and you were supposed to do electricity and Sky.’

‘No.’ Jim shook his head. ‘Look.’ He dug his phone out of his pocket and scrolled to his notebook and opened the list he had on there. ‘See? Jim’s shit is get the Sky set up, buy the fridge and get the broadband sorted. Ross’ shit is sort out the utilities.’ He waved the phone at Ross, who grabbed it from him and frowned at it.

‘Fuck.’ he said. ‘I may have gotten things confused.’ He looked despondent. ‘Sorry, babe.’

‘That’s okay.’ Jim said. ‘Not a train smash. We can call them tomorrow and get it sorted. I’ve got a torch around here somewhere, and I’m pretty sure we have some candles in the kitchen box.’

‘We do?’ Ross asked.

‘Always be prepared.’ Jim said going to one of the boxes and starting to dig around.

‘I thought you were a Sea Cadet, not a Scout.’ Ross laughed and Jim held up two fingers at him.

‘I am about to provide you with fucking light and you’re being snippy.’ he said. ‘I should just drop you down the fucking well.’

‘There’s a well?’ Ross asked and Jim looked at him in disbelief.

‘Did you even read the property brochure beyond ‘It is a house’?’ he asked and then made a victorious noise and held up a pack of candles and a box of matches. ‘Which box are the plates in?’

‘Not sure.’ Ross said. The plates were another donation from Rose that Ross had gone to pick up the week before. ‘She’s already sealed it so I kind of just put it in with the rest. He saw the horrified look on Jim’s face at his lack of system. ‘They must be around here somewhere.’

‘Fuck’s sake.’ Jim got up. He went to Ross, ripping open the pack of candles and handing one to Ross, then put the others on the table. ‘We need to find the one with my stuff in, the torch will be in there. And the plates so we can stick the candles to them. You’ve clearly never been through a blackout before.’ He opened the matches and lit the candle. ‘You’re just going to have to follow me around until we find what we’re looking for.’

So for the next twenty minutes that’s what they did, Jim going from room to room and checking the boxes, looking for the unmarked one from Rose and the one that had his stuff in. Ross wandered along after him, candle in one hand held up in a manner befitting a housekeeper in a bad horror film.

In fact that was what set it off. After they’d finished their beers, they searched upstairs and downstairs for the unmarked box and then finally found it in the far corner of the living room, under another one. Jim dug his bosun’s knife out of his pocket where it habitually resided when he wasn’t on ship, flicked the blade open and cut the tape. he peered into the depths of the box. It was completely dark now and he motioned for Ross to come closer.

  
‘Aziz, light!’ he intoned and then started giggling hysterically. Ross sighed and shook his head. He’d pretty much gotten used to missing at least half of the conversation because of Jim’s habit of talking in obscure film references but this one he knew. Jim loved the Fifth Element with a passion he didn’t understand in the slightest but he liked Bruce Willis and he had to admit the film had its moments.

‘Funny.’ he replied and moved so that the candle was closer and Jim could see what he was doing. Jim stood up, a saucer in hand and took the candle from him, tilting it so molten wax ran onto the surface of the saucer and then stuck the candle to it.

‘See?’ he said. ‘Instant candlestick.’ Ross raised his eyebrows at him and gave him a disgusted look.

‘You’re enjoying this.’ he said accusingly and Jim smiled.

‘So what if I am?’ he asked. ‘Aren’t you happy?’

‘No.’ Ross grumbled. ‘My head hurts, we have no electricity and you’re going to be making candle puns for the rest of the night.’

‘Aha!.’ Jim was now digging in another box after cutting it open. He came out with a black Maglite, one of the big ones, and flipped it in a series of turns before catching it neatly. Then he switched it on and the powerful beam lit up the living room. ‘I knew it was here somewhere.’

‘So what do I do with this then?’ Ross nodded at the candle. Jim shrugged.

‘Put it back in the kitchen.’ he said and then their eyes met and the corners of Jim’s mouth started twitching madly and Ross could see he was desperately holding it on. He sighed again, making it sound as exasperated as possibly, but chuckling on the inside. Jim was so very predictable sometimes. Fortunately he knew this reference as well.

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’ he said. ‘Just fucking say it so we can move the bloody hell on.’ Jim shook his head.

‘No.’ he said. ‘I’ll be good.’ He was visibly biting the insides of his cheeks and his eyes were sparkling.

‘Idiot.’ Ross said and walked out of the living room. Just as he got into the hall Jim called to him.

‘Put the candle back!’ There was the sound of frantic laughter.

‘You are ridiculous!’ Ross replied even louder, going into the kitchen.

‘I love you.’ Jim shouted. Ross smiled.

‘I love you too.’ he shouted back.


	2. An Unwanted Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is for Pyx. I hope it gives you amusement in your time of spider persecution :D
> 
> The second day in the house and there is an unwanted visitor.
> 
> P.S. This was supposed to be fluff...

The first morning in their new house started with Ross being woken from a deep sleep by a yell of magnificent proportions followed by a stream of the worst profanity he’d ever heard come out of Jim’s mouth, which was saying something. It was accompanied by the unmistakable sound of kitchen utensils flying through the air and then hitting the ground.

It was enough to send him stumbling from their bed in a minute, still sleep fogged and uncoordinated. Thankfully, they’d both kind of fallen into bed still half-dressed the night before and Ross could go straight downstairs in search of the cause of the chaos. He had already identified the sounds as coming from the kitchen, and as he got down the last few steps, he could hear that the flow of blue language was nowhere close to stopping. 

He got to the doorway and peered in, only to see his boyfriend sitting up on the kitchen counter. Jim had obviously showered and changed while he was asleep (Ross slept like the dead and frequently didn’t hear him when he got up) and he was in jeans and his Jurassic Park t-shirt, bare feet up on the counter next to him while he glared at an empty cardboard box that had held the kitchen utensils which were now all over the floor apart from a couple of wooden spoons that were on the counter next to Jim. Ross looked at him and saw that Jim was white as a sheet.

‘What the fuck?’ he asked and Jim pointed at the cardboard box.

‘There.’ he said, but didn’t elaborate. Ross went over to the box and stifled a laugh when he saw what the problem was. On the top flap, hanging grimly on for dear life, was the cause of the mayhem. Ross had sympathy for it, after all it had just suffered a terrifying flight through the air. 

‘It’s just a spider.’ he said and the horrified hiss he got in response made him grin, in spite of the fact that his sense of self-preservation was screaming at him not to. 

‘You bastard.’ Jim’s voice was murderous. ‘It’s never just a fucking spider.’ Ross looked at it appraisingly and he swore the poor thing was looking back at him. True, it was fairly long-legged which made it look bigger than it actually was. He turned his attention back to Jim, who was glaring at the spider as if he could will it to spontaneously combust. He knew his beloved had a virulent hatred of all things arachnid, but this was the first time he was actually experiencing it first-hand.

‘It’s probably harmless.’ he said and was met with a look that managed to combine horror, outrage and disgust at the fact that he was being so calm.

‘Yes, Ross. I am sure it is.’ Jim said, and his voice could have stripped paint. ‘But it’s still a fucking spider. Now will you please stop acting like David fucking Attenborough and kill the fucking thing.’

‘Why.’ Ross said as he picked the box up and regarded it. ‘It’s not doing anything. And it’s probably a hell of a lot more scared of you than you are of it.’ He certainly thought the spider looked it, pressed flat against the box. Jim gave a whole body shudder when he said that.

‘I really don’t think so, trust me.’ He said. ‘Just get rid of it. Please. Now.’ He fixed Ross with a look that said the subject was not up for debate and folded his arms. Ross sighed, put the box back down and went to retrieve one of the mugs from the draining board of the sink. Then he went back and very carefully managed to tip the spider into the bottom of it, where it curled in a ball and skulked at him. Ross straightened up and an evil though occurred to him. Grinning wickedly he held the mug out to Jim.

‘Want to see it?’ he asked and Jim paled visibly. 

‘You motherfucker.’ he hissed, backing away onto the counter as far as he could. ‘I am going to kill you in your sleep if you bring that thing anywhere near me. So fucking help me, I will.’ Ross laughed.

‘Are you seriously telling me that spending two months with Nicaraguan drug runners was less scary than this.’ he asked and then ducked neatly as a wooden spoon went whizzing past his head, almost but not quite clipping him on the ear. Ross thanked his lucky stars that his reflexes were sharp enough to avoid the missile. Jim had remarkably accurate aim.

Still laughing, he took the spider out the back door and onto the grass.

‘Make sure it’s fucking far away!’ Jim yelled from the kitchen and Ross took it down to the line of trees that ran down the right of the garden and released it back into the wild by upending the mug and tapping the bottom. It took a few goes as the spider was clinging to the mug but eventually it fell out and scuttled off into the grass. Ross left it to its fate and went back inside. 

Jim was still on the counter but he’d put his feet down. There was a very skeptical look on his face.

‘There’s never just one, you know.’ He grumbled and Ross went over to him, moving between his knees and putting his arms around him. Jim didn’t resist, going into to the hug without hesitation, arms around Ross’ neck and burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. ‘I fucking hate those things.’ 

‘Well if there are any others, I promise to evict them immediately.’ Ross replied. 

‘Seriously though, nothing should have that many eyes.’ Jim muttered into his neck. Ross chuckled at that.

‘What the fuck did you do in Central America.’ he said. ‘Aren’t their spiders like the size of cows or something?’ Jim actually shivered in his arms.

‘Don’t fucking remind me.’ he said, voice still slightly muffled by the fact that he was talking into Ross’ t-shirt. ‘Thank fuck they all seemed to be hiding while I was there. And the only one I did see got turned into shrapnel very fucking quickly.’ Ross felt him smile against his shoulder. ‘Turns out there’s very little left when it gets hit by a nine millimetre round.’ He sounded a little smug and Ross pulled back from him, looking at him in disbelief.

‘You shot it?’ he asked and Jim’s blue-green eyes were sparkling at him. ‘You blew away a spider?’

‘Too fucking right I did.’ Jim replied and started laughing at the look of amazement on Ross’ face.

********

Ross was on spider patrol for the rest of the day as they went from room to room, unpacking what they had brought with them. The bookshelves in the living room were now full with the combined volumes that he and Jim owned. There was no furniture yet, as the sofa was only coming a couple of days later. He and Jim had been given the week off to move in and get settled, and had already invited most of their combined circle of friends to come for a housewarming on the Saturday night. The only actual furniture they had was the bed, which they had bought the week before and got delivered one afternoon when Ross was able to get away early. They’d found it in an antique shop in Wareham. The moment they saw it they had both known it was perfect. 

He could hear Jim singing to himself upstairs and smiled. It was one of the endearing things about his boyfriend that Ross had discovered when they had shared quarters before. It suddenly hit him that he would now get to have this full time.

He went up the stairs and found him in the shower room, happily bleaching every surface in sight.

‘You know you’re going to asphyxiate on the fumes eventually.’ he said and Jim snorted with laughter. 

‘Well, if it was up to you the things in the sink would discover slood before you actually got around to washing them.’ he retorted. Ross frowned at the unfamiliar word and then ignored it. He was so used to missing the pop culture references by now it no longer fazed him. 

‘You need a break.’ he said. ‘You’ve been at it since this morning.’ He went into the shower room and took Jim by the wrist. ‘Come on, enough now.’ Jim pulled back but Ross dragged him out of the shower room, ignoring his protests that he wasn’t finished cleaning yet. He got Jim into the bedroom and herded him towards the bed. 

‘You know we still haven’t christened it yet.’ he said, smiling. Jim put one hand on Ross’ chest, holding him at arm’s length. 

‘Not my fault you decided to try and concuss yourself last night.’ He replied. ‘And I’ve still got our bathroom and the spare room to do.’

‘Fuck it.’ Ross said cheerfully. ‘They can wait.’ He knocked Jim’s hand aside and gave him a shove that knocked him onto the bed and then climbed on top of him, ignoring Jim’s increasingly half-hearted protests and kissing him all over his face. The duvet was warm from the sun streaming in through the window which was still bare of curtains, and it felt almost decadent to be doing this if the middle of the afternoon. Jim eventually gave up and lay still, and Ross sat up and reached back over his head, pulling his t-shirt off and chucking it on the floor, then wrestled Jim's off him as well. Then he lay back down over Jim, bracing himself on his elbows and kissed him on the mouth. Jim kissed back, one leg hooking around the back of Ross’ thigh and smiled against his mouth and slid his hands down Ross’ flanks.

They traded lazy kisses back and forth, and Ross was enamoured with the fact that if they wanted they could just do this all afternoon. He said as much and Jim crinkled his nose at him, and Ross kissed it in response.

‘It is nice.’ Jim said. ‘It’s nice to have our space…’

‘Mmm.’ Ross agreed, already nosing at Jim’s neck. ‘No interruptions…’

‘No one walking in…’ Jim replied. He shivered as Ross started kissing his neck.

‘We can make as much noise as we want and no-one will say a thing…’ Ross murmured between kisses. He got to Jim’s ear and licked it and Jim shivered underneath him. ‘I can fuck you anywhere I want to…’ He bit the earlobe gently and Jim arched up into him.

‘If that’s the case you sure you want to do this here?’ he said teasingly and Ross reached down, hand on Jim’s cock. 

‘Oh, fuck yes.’ he said around the earlobe he had between his teeth, his hand working. ‘And I can take all the time I want.’ He tongued the earlobe softly and Jim keened. 

‘Yes.’ he breathed, all thoughts of bleaching bathrooms long forgotten. ‘Yes…’ Ross moved off the ear and back to Jim’s waiting mouth. This time the kisses were harder and more fiery and Ross thrust down against Jim once, smiling at how hard he was. 

‘I am going to fuck you everywhere in this house.’ he growled, rolling them to the side and going to work on Jim’s jeans buttons. Jim was panting quietly, his own hands doing the same to Ross. There was a moment of mutual shoving to get their jeans and briefs off, and then it was done and they fell back on the bed. Ross got to his hands and knees and peered over the side of the bed.

‘Now where the fuck did you put it?’ he asked and then lost all composure as Jim wriggled down the bed underneath him and took him by the hips. Ross looked at him between his arms and got an upside down smile. ‘What are you doing down there?’

‘You’ll see.’ Jim said and then took Ross in his mouth.

‘Oh fucking hell.’ Ross nearly fell over as Jim started moving his head. It was blindingly good and he thrust down a little. Jim made a strangled noise and pushed him off.

‘Fucking careful.’ he laughed. ‘I don’t think the words ‘I want to choke on your cock’ are meant to be taken literally.’ 

‘Sorry.’ Ross was still trying to get himself under control. He fell down onto his side and Jim grinned. 

‘Now that gives me an idea.’ he said, and moved around so they were opposite each other’s cocks.

‘Oh Christ.’ Ross muttered. ‘You know I have trouble doing two things at once. You’re always saying so yourself.’ Jim chuckled and took him one hand. 

‘You’re just going to have to concentrate extra hard.’ he replied and took Ross down once again, and Ross let his head fall back.

‘Fuck.’ he muttered, and the rallied enough to do the same to Jim, taking him in as deep as he could. His senses were instantly flooded with the smells and tastes he loved best, and Ross closed his eyes and abandoned himself to it. He managed to get a rhythm going, but then Jim did something with his tongue and Ross had to fight the urge to bite down. He pulled off, his breathing ragged. On his end, Jim seemed to just be getting started and Ross had to content himself with pressing open mouthed kisses along Jim’s hipbone and stomach, one hand around Jim’s cock. This went unnoticed for a few minutes and then the wonderful warm wetness of Jim’s mouth disappeared and Ross got a dig in the ribs.

‘Oi.’ Jim’s voice came from down below. ‘The last time I checked, this particular position required the participation of both parties.’ 

‘I can’t.’ Ross panted. ‘You’re so fucking good at that, that I may bite you accidentally.’ He lay back and Jim sat up. 

‘Fine.’ he said, getting off the bed and going to a bag that was lying by the bedroom door. Ross watched as he dug around for a bit and then came out with the lube, chucking it at Ross. ‘But that means you have to blow me first.’

‘That I can do.’ Ross said and sat up as well, moving to the edge of the bed. Jim came to stand in front of him, and ran his fingers through Ross’ hair. Ross looked up at him, and took him in. he moved slowly, drawing the action out and Jim sighed deeply. He put his other hand on the side of Ross’ neck and watched as Ross moved slowly, mouth soft. 

Ross took his time, hands on Jim’s hips to hold him steady. He drew off, tongue dragging and Jim’s fingers tightened involuntarily in his hair. 

‘Yes.’ he breathed and Ross looked up at him, their eyes locking. ‘Like that, baby.’ His hips were starting to move, little abortive thrusts that he was obviously trying to control. Ross held onto him, and then started to move faster, working his tongue against the sensitive head and Jim went rigid. Ross felt the tightening in Jim’s cock and sucked hard, tasting the burst of bitterness on his tongue and hearing Jim’s sharp cry as he came in Ross’ mouth. 

Ross swallowed convulsively, too lazy to get up and go spit it out, and then pulled off to see Jim making a face at him.

‘That is just disgusting.’ he said and Ross laughed. ‘You want me on top or underneath you?’ 

‘On your stomach.’ Ross replied, and Jim lay face down on the bed, arms under his head to cushion himself. He was pliant and languid now that he’d come, and Ross lay down next to him. He stroked along Jim’s spine, feeling the smooth skin under his hand. He got to Jim’s hip and ran his thumb over the stylised tattoo, smiling as Jim shifted and he got a clearer view of the tank done in black ink and felt the little thrill he always got when he saw it. It was not big, barely three inches square but it was a little sign of belonging that meant Jim was his, just as the line of Morse code along his lower back showed that he belonged to Jim. 

He reached for the lube, getting it on his fingers and went to work, one finger sliding home easily. Jim had his head down and Ross watched the steady rise and fall of his back as he breathed. He went slowly, fingertip drawing lightly, and Jim let out a low moan as it skated over his prostate. Ross kissed his shoulder and pressed in a little harder and Jim parted his legs voluntarily to give him better access. Ross drew his finger out and added more lube to Jim’s skin, and then used two to work it inside him. Jim was panting quietly into his arms, and Ross dragged his teeth over the skin of Jim’s shoulder. He looked at the scattering of freckles, almost lost in the tan and then licked at them. He loved Jim’s freckles, loved to map them across his shoulders, count them were they lay across the bridge of his nose and across his cheekbones. But Jim had come back so tanned from Nicaragua that they were almost invisible. He kept going for what seemed like forever until Jim got wet and loose, then pressed in on the exact spot he knew drove Jim crazy. Jim didn’t disappoint, lifting up off his arms and moaning out loud. He was starting to push back into Ross’ hand and thrust down into the bed correspondingly. 

‘You ready?’ Ross asked and he nodded.

‘Yeah.’ he breathed. ‘Do it.’ Ross got onto his knees, straddling Jim’s thighs and using the lube to slick himself. Then he brushed the residue off on his own thigh and leaned forward, guiding himself into position and bracing himself on both hands. Then he thrust home, sliding inside easily. Jim keened into the bed, pushing back to meet him. Ross leaned down, biting gently at the back of his neck and Jim got onto his elbows to give them both more leverage.

‘Go slow.’ he breathed. ‘I want to feel you.’ Ross did, thrusting gently and dragging it out so he was almost out of him before pushing back inside. Underneath him, Jim was pushing down into the bed, and Ross shifted position slightly to hit him in just the right place. There was a sharp intake of breath followed by a long drawn out sound and Ross knew he had him. He snapped forward once and that made Jim cry out, the sound overly loud in their quiet house. His breathing picked up in time with Ross’ thrusts and Ross held him there. He slowed and quickened by turns, judging every move by how it changed the rate and intonations of Jim’s breathing until he could tell that Jim was getting close. Then he pulled out and manhandled Jim onto his back, getting him under the knees and driving back in again, hard enough to make the bed bang repeatedly against the wall. Jim had one hand holding onto the iron bars of the headboard, and with the other he started jerking himself off. The sun hit his eyes, making them almost iridescent, and Ross stared into them. The eye contact made everything even more intense and their breathing matched as they watched each other until Jim’s breathing caught and stuttered and he moaned as he came, bearing down on Ross and pushing him over the edge. Ross threw back his head, his voice just as urgent, and let go. It seemed to go one for ages and they were both shaking when they finally came through it.

Ross dropped Jim’s legs, and leaned forward over him. Jim reached for him and dragged Ross’ mouth down to his. Ross went happily, the kiss messy and slow. 

‘Well that’s one room down.’ he said in Jim’s ear and Jim laughed softly, his arms tightening around Ross. But then he gasped and it wasn’t a good sound. Ross pulled back to see him staring in horror at the ceiling. He looked up and noted the spider just above their heads.

‘Bugger.’ he said, dropping back down. Jim gave him a none-to-gentle shove to get Ross off of him.

‘I knew it!’ he hissed. ‘There’s never just one.’

‘Guess play time’s over.’ Ross grinned as he pushed himself off and out of him. Jim glared at him in return.

‘You said you would evict all spiders immediately.’ he stated and Ross sighed.

‘That I did.’ he said. Then when the glare didn’t abate he frowned. ‘You want me to do it now?’

‘Yes.’ Jim was already rolling off the bed. He went to take refuge in the bathroom and Ross looked from the now closed bathroom door to the spider on the ceiling.

‘Fuck’s sake.’ he muttered and then went in search of the broom.


	3. Day Three in The Big Brother House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like it says on the tin...

Day two ended with no drama of the arachnid kind, which was a blessing as far as Ross was concerned. By the end of the evening he reckoned he’d disposed of at least twelve of the little bastards. Jim was sitting on the bed crossed legged, laptop on his lap. Ross came out the bathroom from brushing his teeth and smiled as he leaned in the doorway and watched his focused expression as Jim researched methods on preventing spiders in the house.

‘Find anything interesting?’ he asked and Jim gave him the finger.

‘Only that chopping annoying boyfriends into mulch and spreading it on flower beds is supposed to work.’ he replied, still slightly snippy. Ross chuckled and walked over to the bed. He got on and settled in next to Jim, chin on his shoulder. Jim looked at him and then gave him a kiss on the nose. ‘Chestnuts are supposed to work.’ Ross frowned.

‘What eating them?’ he asked. Jim snorted with laughter.

‘No, you’re supposed to put them on your windowsills.’ He replied and Ross lay back, one hand behind his head.

‘Sounds like bollocks.’ he said. ‘What time is Rose coming tomorrow?’

‘Around twelve.’ Jim said. ‘She’s probably going to stay over. That is if the rest of the furniture comes tomorrow.’ They’d bought a double bed for the spare room from the same company that was doing the sofa and it was supposed to be coming in the morning.

‘Cool.’ Ross sighed and moved onto his side, looking up at Jim and sticking one finger in his ear to annoy him, snickering when Jim swiped at him. ‘Can we go to sleep then? It’s been a long day.’ Jim gave him a sidelong look.

‘It wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t decide to derail the cleaning train this afternoon.’ he said and Ross smiled unrepentantly.

‘Worth it.’ he said, trying to insinuate his hand under Jim’s t-shirt and grinning when Jim shoved his hand away, which of course only made him more persistent. He shifted so he was pressed up against Jim’s side and stuck his head under his arm. Jim heaved a resigned sigh, closed the laptop and leaned over to put it on the floor. Ross took the opportunity while Jim was in a compromised position to get him around the waist and pull him down when Jim came back up from the floor. Jim got into their customary position for sleeping and switched off the lamp on his side.

They lay in the dark for a few minutes and then Ross started laughing.

‘What the fuck are you giggling at?’ Jim asked and Ross kissed the back of his neck.

‘You.’ he said. Jim huffed and snuggled down into his arms.

‘Wanker.’ he said, the affection clear in his voice.

They lay together in the dark and eventually Ross felt his eyes get heavy. Jim was asleep, which surprised him a little. Usually it was the other way around. It didn’t take long after that for Ross to slip into sleep.

*************

Ross awoke with a start. His first reaction was to stick out one hand and feel for Jim in the bed. There was nothing but an empty sheet under his palm and a surge of almost panic took him as he scrabbled for the light switch and put it on. When he did, he saw the room was empty. Ross frowned and got up, stretching as he stood up from the bed and then padded to the doorway. He could hear movement downstairs and followed it to find Jim in the living room. He was unpacking the few boxes of books still left unopened and putting them on the shelves. Ross went in and he turned and gave him a small smile.

‘What are you doing awake?’ he asked and Ross frowned, rubbing his eyes.

‘You weren’t in the bed.’ he replied.

‘Couldn’t sleep.’ Jim said. He turned back to the bookshelf and sighed. ‘Is there any particular order you want these in?’

‘On the bookshelf?’ Ross said coming up behind him and putting both arms around him. Jim leaned back into him. ‘No. Not really.’ He stuck his nose in Jim’s hair.

‘Sorry I woke you.’ Jim said. ‘I was just lying there for ages and thought I’d do more good if I used my time productively.’ His tone was deliberately light, but Ross could hear the tiny undercurrent of strain.

‘It’s fine.’ he replied. ‘I just wanted to know where you were.’ He let go of Jim. ‘You going to come up eventually?’

‘Eventually.’ Jim said but he had already turned back to the bookshelf. Ross went to the door then stopped in the doorway and looked at him.

‘I love you.’ he said. Jim smiled at him over his shoulder.

‘Love you too, baby.’ he said. Ross gave him an answering smile that belied the disconcertion he felt and went upstairs and back to bed.

*************

In the morning he woke to find that Jim had in fact come to bed. He was buried under the duvet as he usually was, blond hair sticking out and dead to the world. Ross checked the time and then got up. The furniture company was due to deliver at ten and it was already just after nine. He got up, showered and dressed. Jim slept through all of it and Ross wondered what time he’d finally made it back upstairs. He stopped briefly to check on him but Jim was fast asleep, his breathing deep and regular, and Ross decided to just leave him to it.

Downstairs he made coffee and breakfast for himself and waited for the delivery company. They called bang on ten and he directed them to the cottage. Then it was an hour of hauling the sofa inside and the bed into the spare room upstairs where the delivery men set it up for him. Once they were done, Ross grabbed sheets, pillows and the duvet from the linen cupboard on the landing and made up the bed for Rose. Then he went back downstairs and positioned the sofa to his liking. By that time he was in need of sustenance and went to sit out on the back step with a cup of tea and half a packet of biscuits.

It was beautiful out, the summer morning just starting to heat up a little and Ross leaned back against the door frame and closed his eyes, basking in the sun. He didn’t hear the movement in the kitchen until a hand came down on his shoulder and he jumped in surprise.

‘Fuck!’ Jim said, collapsing back against the door frame. ‘Don’t fucking do that!’ His eyes were wide and Ross huffed.

‘You fucking scared me.’ he retorted, unable to help his defensiveness. Jim’s jumpiness was putting him on edge as well, but he didn’t want to say anything and he’d been fine the past two days. He looked at Jim, noting the fluffy blond hair and sleepy eyes which told him that Jim had only just got up. He was still in his pyjama pants, bare chested and bare footed. Ross held out one hand and Jim took it and allowed Ross to guide him around the front of him. Then he completely surprised Ross by climbing into his lap and forcing Ross to move to accommodate him. It was such an un-Jim like gesture that Ross was a little taken aback.

‘Hey.’ he said. ‘You okay?’ He adjusted position so they were both more comfortable, pulling Jim tightly against him.

‘I’m still sleepy.’ Jim replied, tucking himself under Ross’ chin. ‘I feel like I could sleep for a week.’ He gave a small sigh. ‘Did the furniture come?’

‘All done and dusted.’ Ross replied. ‘I’ve made up the bed for Rose.’

‘Thanks.’ Jim yawned and absently batted his fingertips against the side of Ross’ face. ‘I have an idea. Why don’t we go back to bed?’ He nuzzled the underside of Ross’ jaw and Ross gave him a look.

‘You do realise that your mother is going to be here at many moment.’ he said and Jim huffed.

‘Fine.’ he grumbled. ‘Help me up.’ Ross shoved him off his lap and there was a moment of uncertain balance but then Jim was on his feet. He stretched and Ross found himself having second thoughts at the sight of abdominal muscles flexing in front of his face. Jim caught the look on his face and chuckled.

‘Too late.’ he said. ‘I offered and you declined.’ He walked past Ross into the kitchen and left him to grumble on the back step.

**********

Rose turned up around midday. She parked her car and got out, opening the boot to let Port and Starboard jump out and they immediately went to pee all over the garden. Ross stood in the doorway and laughed at them while Jim went to her and got enveloped in an over-enthusiastic hug, the only kind that Rose was really capable of giving. She was giggling in delight as Jim picked her up off her feet and carted her over to the stair and handed her to Ross.

‘Duckie!’ she trilled and Ross got the same treatment. He hugged back, happily submerging himself in Rose’s effervescent mood and looking at Jim over her shoulder. Jim was back at the car, smiling and shaking his head at them. He leaned in the back of the car and came out with her bag on his shoulder and a cardboard box packed with cake tins and bottles. Rose released Ross as he approached and gestured at the car.

‘There’s plenty of stuff to come inside, love.’ she said. ‘Not least your stuff from the attic.’

‘You brought it?’ Jim smiled. ‘Thank you.’

‘Well, now you have room to put it all.’ Rose said. ‘Although I’m not so sure how Ross is going to feel about sharing space with your collection.’ She grinned and went inside and left Ross to look at Jim with a raised eyebrow. Port and Starboard had finished their inspection and trotted in after her.

‘Collection?’ he asked.

‘Shut up.’ Jim said and walked past him into the house. Ross laughed and walked over to the car and peered inside. There were a few more boxes crammed into the back seat and he grabbed one and picked it up, making a slight oof noise as he did at the weight of it. He started carrying it back to the house and got to the front door just as Jim came out.

‘What the fuck do you have in here?’ he asked. ‘Elephants?’ Jim snorted with laughter and hit him squarely on the backside.

‘You’ll see.’ he said and went to get the next box. Ross went in and found Rose in the kitchen unpacking the stuff she’d bought with her. He walked past and dumped the box in the living room then came back and stared at the multitude of tins on the table.

‘Are you planning on the apocalypse coming while you’re here?’ he asked and Rose laughed.

‘Jim would kill me if I didn’t come with sacrificial offerings.’ she said and opened a cake tin. It was full of lemon slices and Ross grinned and took one. Rose closed the lid and winked at him. He was just finishing it when Jim came in with the next box and caught sight of him chewing.

‘Hey!’ he said, standing in the doorway. Ross swallowed hastily and tried not to laugh. Jim gave Rose a hurt look. ‘Betrayed by my own mother.’ he muttered and stomped off.

‘He thinks you’re starting to play favourites.’ Ross said and Rose snickered and came over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

‘Maybe I am.’ she said and went back to stashing food around the house.

‘I fucking heard that!’ Jim yelled from the living room. Rose and Ross looked at each other and laughed. Jim came to the door of the kitchen and glared at them and they stopped to look him, then started laughing even harder. Jim shook his head in disgust and went back outside. It took a while for them to finally get over their laughter and when they did, Rose smiled.

‘He looks better.’ she said. Ross knew that she’d been concerned when Jim had gotten back. Two weeks had made a world of difference though.

‘He’s getting there.’ he replied and she gave him a penetrating look. ‘I think the therapy sessions are helping.’

‘Are they though?’ she asked, frowning a little when he looked away. ‘Ross?’

‘He hasn’t been sleeping as well as he should have.’ he said. Rose raised her eyebrows at him. ‘But he’s been better since we got here.’

‘You’ve only been here two days.’ she pointed out.

‘I know.’ Ross folded his arms and sighed. ‘I’ll guess we’ll just have to wait and see.’ He fell silent as Jim came back in with the final box and went straight past to the living room. Rose gave him a knowing look.

‘Go.’ she said. ‘I’ll be here rearranging your kitchen.’ Ross smiled and left the kitchen and went into the living room. Jim was sitting on the floor, the three boxes around him. He had his bosun’s knife out and was cutting the tape that held them closed. He looked up and Ross and raised an eyebrow at him. Ross grinned, then sat down next him and leaned over to give him a light kiss. When he pulled back Jim gave him a mock glare.

‘Bastard.’ he said amiably. ‘You could at least have bought me a lemon slice.’

‘As the favoured child, I am very loathe to give up my advantages. And that means including getting lemon slices before you eat them all.’ He gave Jim a look. ‘And how do you even know it was a lemon slice?’ The corner of Jim’s mouth quirked and he leaned in, one hand to the back of Ross’ head as he pulled him in close and kissed him. It made Ross melt and he opened his mouth to meet the brush of Jim’s tongue with his own. When Jim pulled back, Ross was aware that he was still leaning in a little. Jim gave him a filthy smile and then ran his thumb over Ross’ lower lip.

‘Because you taste like fucking lemon, you traitorous bugger.’ he said, his voice low. It sent a shiver through Ross. ‘You know you’re going to pay for that later.’

‘Not with your mother in the house.’ he hissed and Jim actually burst out laughing at that.

‘All right, Virgin Mary.’ he said, and his dimples flashed at Ross. ‘I’ll wait until she’s gone and then I’m going to bend you over our new sofa and stick my tongue up your gorgeous arse until you apologise for usurping me in my mother’s affections.’ 

‘Jesus Christ, Jim.’ Ross said, ducking his head as he blushed furiously. ‘You can’t say shit like that when she’s in the next room.’

‘Oh, I think you’ll find I can.’ Jim was smiling unrepentantly. ‘Now fuck off back to the kitchen and go get me a lemon slice before I lose all control of my sensibilities and fuck you on the floor right here.’ He gave Ross a shove and Ross got to his feet, muttering under his breath. He went into the kitchen to find Rose merrily rooting around in the cupboard next to the range where they’d unpacked the herbs and spices. He was about to say something to her about lemon slices when she turned to him with a raised eyebrow and a grin. In her hand was a bottle of lube.

‘Do I even want to know?’ she asked.


	4. Getting There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening...

‘What the fuck is this?’ Ross saw staring aghast at the TV with a look of bemused horror on his face. He was on their new sofa with Jim’s feet in his lap. He had been rubbing the left one but had stopped after the first slaughter of topless holiday reps. Jim snorted with laughter and gave him a prod with his foot to indicate that he should keep going.

‘It’s funny.’ he said.

‘It has boobs in it.’ Ross protested. ‘And machetes.’

‘All the best films do.’ Rose said. She was curled in the armchair with Port on her lap and one foot resting on Starboard.

‘I can’t believe you watch this shit.’ Ross said to her and Rose laughed.

‘Who do you think taught Jim to appreciate it?’ she replied. ‘And trust me this is a far step up from some of the shit that Rob and I used to watch. Although that’s probably where his obsession with it started.’

‘Yeah?’ Ross gave Jim a grin. Jim smiled back and crinkled his nose at him.

‘When he was little, I think he was about three or four, Rob would watch this stuff in the living room with him sleeping on his chest.’ Rose gave her son a fond look. ‘Rob could never sleep either.’

‘I’m sleeping.’ Jim said evenly and Rose gave Ross a quick glance. Jim looked from one to other and frowned. ‘I am.’

‘You weren’t last night.’ Rose said and Jim gave Ross a look that bordered on annoyed.

‘Really?’ he asked him. Ross shook his head.

‘Sorry.’ he said. ‘You don’t get to do that. Not after coming all the way back from the Philippines to look after me. We worry.’

‘He’s right. We do.’ Rose’s voice was serious. ‘And I’m your mother. If I don’t worry about your sleep patterns who will?’

‘Florence Nightingale over there.’ Jim replied, pointing at Ross. ‘I’m fine, Rose. If it gets too bad, I’ll tell you.’ He raised his eyebrows at her but she remained stern. Ross was surprised. He’d never seen her like that. ‘I promise.’

‘I’m holding you to that.’ she said. ‘And if you don’t, Ross is going to tell on you.’

***********

They went to bed after the film finished. Rose herded the dogs into the spare room and they jumped up and curled up in identical balls of black fluff. Ross had already disappeared into their room.

‘Night.’ Jim said, leaning in the doorway of her room. ‘I’d say sleep well, but those two little shits have already taken over the bed.’ He smiled at the two pairs of bright black eyes that threw him matching glares at disturbing them. Rose came over to him and put her hand on his cheek.

‘Don’t be angry with Ross for telling me.’ she said. ‘He’s worried about you. So am I.’

Jim sighed and nodded. ‘I know. But I’m okay, Mom.’

‘No, you’re not.’ she said. ‘I know you, James. I know when you’re lying and you’re lying now.’ She looked at him intently. ‘What you have just been through would have tested anyone.’ Jim looked back at her and covered her hand with his own.

‘I’m doing what I need to.’ he said. ‘They’re giving me all the help I can get.’

‘Maybe.’ Rose said. ‘But don’t keep him out. Please. You need him and he can be strong for you.’ She smiled at Jim and moved her hand to his shoulder. ‘You don’t have to keep it under control. That’s always been your problem. Sometimes you can break. No-one will think less of you for doing so.’

‘What if I can’t repair the damage that comes after?’ Jim said. He folded his arms and looked back at the closed bedroom door. ‘You’ve seen how bad I can get.’

‘You’re not that person anymore. You haven’t been for years. That boy has grown up and matured into a wonderful level-headed man who makes me prouder than any mother has the right to be.’ Rose replied. ‘But if you bottle it up too much then you might end up doing something you regret.’ Her face hardened. ‘And that man deserved everything he got. Don’t forget that.’ There was a bite to her last words, and Jim knew she was angry.

‘You still hate him.’ he said and there was a tiny hint of question in his words.

‘For what he did to you?’ Rose said. ‘I will always hate him for that. And for dragging you into this a second time, when he had no right to.’

‘It was my decision to take the operation.’ Jim said. ‘I could have said no.’

‘You would never have said no.’ Rose admonished. ‘Not if it could help.’ She shook her head. ‘You are just like your father sometimes. He would have done the same damn thing, and the hell with the consequences.’

‘It’s a good thing I have you to keep me on the straight and narrow.’ Jim said. He glanced at the door again. ‘And him.’

‘And him.’ Rose echoed. ‘And for that I am very glad. It reassures me to know you have someone who loves you as much as he does.’ Her smile became wistful. ‘Your father would have liked him very much.’

‘You think so?’ There was something in his voice, a hint of the child he used to be that pulled at her heart.

‘I know so.’ she replied, the reached up and pulled him down to her, kissing him on the forehead as she had done before he grew taller than she was. ‘Now go to bed. Ross is waiting for you.’

‘Yes, Mother.’ Jim said and she gave him a gentle shove towards the door, then retreated inside the spare room and closed hers behind her. He walked back to his room, placing one hand on the door for a moment before he opened it and went inside.

The main light was off, and the room was illuminated by the bedside lamps. The bathroom light was on and Jim went to the doorway and heard the shower going. He stopped in the doorway and watched Ross, his eyes running along the elegant lines of his body from his feet up the long legs, admiring the dip and curve of his calves and thighs until they joined his body. His gaze rested on Ross’ backside, the dimples just above and the beautiful curve of his spine to the broad shoulders and Ross bowed head, his dark hair turned black and sleek with water. Jim shifted and Ross lifted his head, hearing the sound of movement. He placed one had on the shower door and Jim remembered the words spoken so long ago.

_What if I did? What if you’re all that I think about and it scares me so badly that I just want to run away from you. What would you do?_

_Why don’t you say it again and see?_

_I love you._

‘Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?’ he asked and Ross got that little frown that he always did when he was being complimented.

‘I think you may need glasses.’ he replied and Jim huffed a laugh.

‘I think I need you in my bed.’ he said and now it was Ross’ turn to chuckle.

‘Our bed.’ he corrected, sounding so smug about it that Jim had no choice but to go over to the shower, haul open the door and get in with him. Ross laughed out loud at that.

‘You wanker.’ he said. ‘You’re still dressed.’

‘Not for long.’ Jim replied, pressing him up against the shower wall and kissing him hard. Ross managed to resist for all of two minutes before his mouth opened and Jim could lick inside it, tasting the remnants of coffee and chocolate from after they’d had dinner. He went hard and fast, kissing Ross roughly and biting on his lower lip and getting a stifled moan as a result. Emboldened by the lack of resistance he was getting, Jim started to kiss down Ross’ neck, the water getting his eyes as he did so. His t-shirt and jeans were completely soaked now and plastered to his body and Ross’ hands moved over the wet cotton that covered his lower back and pulled Jim in. It was enough to feel this, only this. Ross was already hard and Jim moved one hand to him, stroking gently. Ross whined in his ear.

‘We can’t do this now.’ He was on the verge of panting. ‘Rose is in the next room.’

‘The shower’s on.’ Jim replied, hand still working. ‘She won’t hear a thing.’ He moved so he could get to his knees and Ross watched him, eyes dark and getting increasingly unfocused. Jim gave him no time to protest, taking Ross in his mouth. He loved this, the clean taste of Ross’ cock in his mouth whenever they did it like this. He started slowly, letting the head drag over his tongue on the way up before taking Ross as deep as he could.

‘Fuck.’ Ross breathed above him and it was soft. Jim looked up and saw that Ross’ eyes were closed, his head back. He pulled off.

‘Look at me.’ he instructed and Ross opened his eyes. ‘Watch me.’ He started again and their eyes locked. Ross’ lips were slightly parted, the almost pants he was making swallowed up by the noise of the falling water. He ran his fingers through Jim’s wet hair and braced himself against the tiled wall with the other hand, his hips moving just enough to facilitate the drive in and out of Jim’s mouth.

Jim lost himself in it, the noises in his head quieted as he focused on the sounds Ross was making, the way he shivered when Jim ran his thumbs along the ridge of his hipbones, the soft keen when he pulled off slowly and lapped at the head of Ross’ cock. It felt so good not to have to think about anything but the two of them. He let Ross go, and pulled the sodden t-shirt off, chucking it on the floor of the shower and then undid his wet jeans just enough to get himself out, jerking off with one hand and going back to what he’d been doing. It was good, but not enough and he could only manage a few more minutes before he was holding onto Ross’ hips and using him to pull himself up. When he got back to eye level he looked at Ross, pushing the thick wet hair out of Ross’ eyes.

‘Fuck me.’ he said, seeing the expression on Ross’ face veering between desire and hesitation. ‘I want you inside me.’

‘Jesus…’ Ross manged before Jim threw himself at him, forcing Ross’ mouth open with his tongue and catching a handful of wet hair at the back of Ross’ head.

‘Please.’ he breathed when they parted. ‘I want you.’ The next kiss was hard enough to sting when their teeth clashed. Ross growled at him, low in his throat and reached down to catch Jim at the back of the thighs and lifted him up, turning to shove him against the wall of the shower, thrusting up against the wet layer of denim between them. Jim held onto his shoulders, nails digging in and let the water hit him full in the face as he moaned from how good the friction felt. The tile at his back was cold and hard but he was so filled with heat that he paid it no attention and tightened his legs around Ross’ hips. ‘Please.’

‘These need to come off.’ Ross said, his voice low. He put Jim back down and they shoved at the wet jeans and briefs together until Jim could kick them off. Ross reached over his shoulder to the shelf built into the side of the shower and grabbed the bottle of baby oil kept there for massaging the knots out of Ross’ lower back after he’d been riding too long. It was a new addition but they’d already had fun with it the week before, much to the annoyance of Carter who’d slipped in the shower the next morning. Jim heard the click of the cap and then felt it running down his back before Ross put it back and Jim felt the glorious pressure of his hands on his shoulders, strong thumbs digging in with just the right amount of pressure along the muscles in his neck. He couldn’t contain the deep moan that came out of him and then Ross was at his back, their bodies sliding against each other.

Ross’ hands kept going, pressing and manipulating the knots Jim didn’t even know he had out of the muscles running down either side of his spine. The oil bottle was retrieved and Jim felt the slickness at his lower back and then Ross’ fingers where there, teasing and stroking. He spread his feet wider, almost automatically, and pushed back into them. The first one went in easily, aided by the oil and Jim rested his forehead against the tile, fighting to steady his breathing and a little surprised at how quickly he was getting off on this. It had been like that since he’d gotten back, like all Ross had to do was look at him the right way and he’d get hard. But then Ross moved and it hit in just the place and Jim gasped out loud as he battled to keep himself under control.

‘Slowly.’ He ground out and there was a hesitation. Then the finger was gone and for a moment Jim wondered of he’d called the situation wrong but then Ross grabbed the hair at the back of his head, yanking Jim against him and stuck two fingers inside him, going straight for his prostate and pressing in hard. Heat flared through him and before he knew it Jim was coming, hard enough for him to shake Ross off. But it was dry and when the aftershocks subsided he was still painfully hard.

There was silence behind Jim and then Ross put his hand between his shoulder blades and kicked Jim’s feet further apart. There were no words between them, just Ross catching Jim around the chest with one arm and guiding himself inside with the other, thrusting hard enough to almost lift Jim off his feet. It was smooth and easy, the baby oil doing its work so there was no friction and Ross threw out his other hand to brace himself against the wall and started thrusting ruthlessly, altering his angle to hit Jim spot on. His face was in the back of Jim’s neck, biting at him and breathing hard into his skin and Jim could only hold on, his own hands flat against the shower wall and pushing back into ever drive of Ross’ hips as they panted in unison.

It was like he couldn’t get enough, like he wanted to be swallowed up by what was between them and never come up for air. Ross was rough and it burned but it was glorious and Jim knew that he couldn’t hold on for too long. He reached for the hand on his shoulder and guided it down.

‘Come on.’ he said, his voice almost pleading. ‘Do it. Make me come.’ The next words were a surprise. ‘Hurt me.’

‘Jesus Christ…’ Ross muttered into his neck. ‘Jim…’ He sounded desperate and started moving his hand as fast as he was able to co-ordinate with his now brutal thrusts. Jim threw his head back against Ross’ shoulder and let himself fly, the surge in his chest carrying him up until he felt himself start to shake with it, until he came screaming into the water and felt Ross bite down hard on his shoulder to keep quiet as he followed, going in as deep as he could before coming.

It was like everything went blissfully quiet in that moment and Jim held onto it for as long as he could, until colour and sound began to seep back into his consciousness. The water washed away the release that covered the tiled wall in front of him and Ross let him go, licking apologetically over the livid bite mark he’d left behind on Jim’s shoulder.

‘Sorry.’ he murmured. ‘I didn’t mean to be so rough.’ He sounded as wrecked as Jim had ever heard him.

‘Don’t.’ Jim could barely speak. ‘I liked it.’

**********

They lay in bed and linked their fingers in the dark. Jim heard Ross sigh and then his hand was lifted. He felt the brush of air as Ross kissed his knuckles.

‘I love you.’ he said and Jim smile.

‘You’ve been saying that a lot since I got back.’ he replied.

‘You’re not leaving me again like that.’ Ross said and there was steel in his voice. ‘I won’t let you.’

Jim didn’t reply but when he tightened his grip on Ross’ hand, Ross squeezed back.


	5. DIY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to B & Q is very eventful.

Rose left a day later with an embrace that threatened to break Jim’s ribs and waves out the window as she drove off. Jim watched her go, and then turned to Ross.

‘Get inside.’ he said and Ross caught the heat in his eyes and then it was a race into the cottage, barely making it to the bedroom before their clothes came off. 

‘Fuck.’ Ross panted. Jim had him on his back, hands all over him and mouth on his neck. ‘I am really really starting to like this living together thing.’ Jim lifted his head long enough to give Ross a look of adoring exasperation and then promptly stuck his tongue in Ross’ mouth.

It was only half way through that they realised they’d left the front door open. By that time, Jim was already installed on top of him, and Ross was in no mood to let him go anywhere. 

‘Fuck it.’ he ground out, bucking up into Jim. ‘The burglars are just going to have to put up with us fucking.’ He pulled Jim down to meet him, fingers digging into the soft skin of his hips. 

‘Will you shut the fuck up, Poldark.’ Jim’s voice was broken, and he arched back, hands bracing himself against Ross’ thighs. ‘Motherfucker…’ His head went back, his mouth open as he clenched hard around Ross. He was almost there, his hitched breathing and the sweat running down his skin and the frantic movement of his hips as clear an indication as if he’d been screaming it. Ross held on for dear life with one hand and took Jim’s cock in his other, trying to match Jim’s rhythm as he watched him. 

‘Come on.’ he panted. ‘Fucking come on me…’

‘Oh God.’ Jim was starting to go rigid, and his breathing suddenly dropped almost to nothing. He closed his eyes and started shaking. ‘Don’t stop, Ross, harder...’ He cried out once, the pleasure taking him up and away, and came hard enough to loosen Ross’ grip on him, falling forward and then driving himself through the aftershocks until Ross was following him, his own shout echoing through the stillness of the house. They stayed like that, their breathing starting to slow down. Jim sat back up and looked down at Ross, dishevelled and with Jim’s cum all over his chest. Then he laughed and carefully dismounted. Ross lay back, eyes closed as he luxuriated in his afterglow. He felt Jim get off the bed and heard him pad across the floor and go to the bathroom, coming back a moment later. There was the sound of Jim cleaning himself off and then the towel hit Ross in the face. He made an outraged noise and pulled it off his face to see Jim grinning at him, still bollock naked and standing at the side of the bed.

‘Get up loser.’ he said, and there was laughter in his voice. ‘I’ve just had a fucking brilliant idea.’

************

The trip to B & Q meant going to Poole. The drive took about an hour, enough time for Ross to discover that Jim knew the words to every song on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

‘Why the fuck did I not know this before?’ he demanded, watching his beloved car dancing next to him to Do You Love Me. ‘I would have never asked you to move in with me.’

‘You have no appreciation of the classics.’ Jim said. He had his sunglasses on and Ross reached over and knocked them skew. ‘Oi. You’ll fucking get it later, if you’re not careful.’ Ross laughed and put his hand on Jim’s thigh. His heart felt light and unconcerned for the first time in weeks. This was Jim, the man who’ gone away in January. Not the silent haunted person he’d picked up at the airport. 

They got to the industrial park and parked. Jim had made a list of what they needed for their little endeavour. Ross had been wide eyed at the thought of it, but it sounded like one hell of an idea, especially after Jim had opened his laptop and shown him some pictures of what they could do. He’d also managed to convince Jim to get a pull up bar as well. 

They went inside and started wandering the aisles. Ross was easily distracted, looking at paint colours and happily getting confused by planking. Jim, on the other hand, had all the focus of a laser beam aimed at James Bond’s crotch and had gone to stalk and hunt a shop assistant. Ross found him deep in conversation with a boy who looked all of seventeen and a man who had to be over seventy if he was a day. They were both looking bemused. 

‘How much weight are you thinking of suspending?’ the older man was asking and Jim gave Ross a speculative look. 

‘About ninety-five kilos?’ he said and the man nodded thoughtfully. 

‘Give me a minute.’ he said and ambled off. Ross came up to them and glared at Jim.

‘Ninety-five kilos?’ he said. ‘Do you even know how much I…’ He broke off as he realised the teenager was listening to them. ‘It’s not that fucking heavy.’ 

‘I suggest it weighs itself.’ Jim said grinning. ‘It is actually heavier than it looks.’

‘Fuck off.’ Ross retorted and then clapped a hand over his mouth. ‘Shit, sorry.’ He said to the shop assistant who was watching the exchange with a confused look on his adolescent face.

‘S’fine.’ The teenager drawled. ‘My mum says worse.’

‘Here you are.’ They turned as the older man came back. ‘Think these’ll do the trick.’ He handed Jim a collection of items. ‘Just make sure you have it well sunk into the joist. And all large weights need to be suspended from a minimum of seven points.’ Then to their complete surprise, he gave Jim and Ross a wink. ‘And for God’s sake put something soft underneath it the first time you try it out, lads.’ With that he grinned and walked off leaving them completely dumbfounded. 

‘Huh?’ The teenage assistant said.

‘Perry!’ the older man called. ‘You’re done.’ Ross and Jim watched the teenager run off to catch up with him.

‘Hmm.’ Jim said, thoughtfully. ‘Guess it takes all types.’ He turned to Ross. ‘Probably a good idea, actually.’ He walked off, and Ross trailed behind him still working out what had just happened. By the time they finally left, they had spent a ridiculous amount of money and had what amounted to a small hardware store themselves. They loaded everything into the car and headed for home. 

Ross looked over to where Jim had the car window down, one arm stuck out and fingers riding the wind. 

‘So we’ve got everything, but I think we’re missing one salient point here.’ he said. Jim looked at him, his amusement at Ross’ choice of vocabulary apparent.

‘And just what would that be, Poldark?’ he asked. 

‘Who is in fact going to install this?’ Ross jerked a thumb at the back of the car which was loaded with all the kit. 

‘Are you telling me I am living with a man who can’t use a drill?’ Jim’s tone was innocent, but the hidden meaning behind those words made Ross narrow his eyes at him.

‘I’m sorry.’ he said, his sarcasm making Jim laugh. ‘Whose arse was it that I fucked into the ground this morning?’

‘Watch it, you.’ Jim said. ‘This arse is about to dazzle you with its DIY skills.’

************

They got home in time for a late lunch. Ross went into the kitchen and started making them sandwiches from the left over chicken from the night before. He listened with half an ear to the assorted knocks and drilling that was coming from the back room. He probably shouldn’t have been surprised by the fact that Jim was good at DIY. After all he’d been helping Rose fix stuff at the pub since he was a teenager and had told Ross that Jeffrey had taught him an awful lot. 

Ross took Jim’s sandwich and went to the back room. Jim was up on a ladder, drilling holes into the ceiling joists that he’d carefully measured out. He watched for a minute. Jim was focused, his brow creased in concentration as he worked.  
It was unexpectedly hot.

‘Okay, so when I say that you up a ladder is giving me ideas, don’t take it the wrong way.’ Ross said as he came into the room. ‘Have you ever considered naked DIY?’ Jim laughed and swapped the drill for the sandwich.

‘Keep talking like that and we’ll be trying this out a lot sooner than expected.’ he replied, taking a mouthful and chewing thoughtfully. ‘Where do you want the pull up bar?’ 

‘Doorway’s good.’ Ross said. ‘So long as we can still close the door.’

‘Why?’ Jim’s smile was wicked. ‘You don’t want people to see you hanging from the ceiling with a vibrator up your arse?’ 

‘Jesus, Jim.’ Ross said, blushing. ‘Don’t fucking say shit like that.’

‘This is our house, Ross.’ Jim replied. ‘I can say what I fucking like.’ He looked down at him. ‘That is a very fetching look on you by the way.’ He was smiling broadly. ‘I love that you still blush when I talk about sticking shit up your arse.’ 

‘Because.’ Ross said. ‘It’s not appropriate lunchtime conversation.’

‘Really?’ Jim said. ‘Tell me how many times you fucked yourself with your Christmas present while I was gone?’

‘That is entirely different.’ Ross retorted. ‘That was a fucking present.’

‘Yes it was.’ Jim said. He finished his sandwich and handed the empty plate back to Ross. ‘And if you’re good, there’ll be more. Now, fuck off and let me finish this.’ Ross snorted and headed back to the kitchen. 

He finally decamped to the living room, idly flicking through the channels on Sky to find something to watch, finally settling on an ancient episode of Poirot. He was comfortable, laid out on the sofa and starting to drift off when Jim called him. Grumbling he got up and went to the back room, to see Jim standing under the doorway where he’d installed the bar. 

‘Well, go on then.’ he said to Ross. ‘Give it a go.’

‘No.’ Ross folded his arms. ‘You do it.’

‘Why, you’re heavier than I am.’ Jim said. ‘It makes sense for you to try it.’ 

‘Fine.’ Ross huffed. ‘But if I fall, I’m landing on you.’ He walked under it and jumped up, catching the bar and then bracing himself. He did his pull ups army style, knees bent and ankles crossed, feeling the burn in his upper arms and shoulders. He did a count of ten and then dropped back down. ‘Actually that feels really stable. Good job, babe.’ He turned to Jim and realised that he’d gone completely quiet. Not only that but he was looking at Ross with an expression that could mean only one thing. 

‘Fuck.’ Jim said. Then he launched himself at Ross. 

They hit the wall hard, Jim getting his hands under Ross’ t-shirt and dragging his nails down Ross’ sides as they kissed, hard and messy and barely coming up for air. In hindsight Ross shouldn’t have been surprised. It had been simmering between them all day. He gasped as Jim’s hand ended up on his quickly hardening cock. 

‘Now?’ he breathed and Jim actually growled into his neck, which he was currently biting. 

‘Fucking yes, now.’ he replied and started undoing Ross’ belt. ‘I want you to fuck me up against this wall and if you don’t I am seriously going to tie you to the ceiling and leave you there.’ He got Ross’ jeans undone and shoved his hand down the front. ‘Fuck, that was hot. How the fuck do you not get propositioned every time you do PT?’ He went back to kissing Ross’ neck, one hand around his cock and the other one on Ross’ backside pulling him against him. 

‘No idea.’ Ross was dizzy with want, his blood pounding in his ears. Jim being forceful always made him weak. He whined as Jim got his jeans down, the cool air a sharp contrast on his burning skin. He ran his hands up Jim’s back under his shirt, the smooth skin making him want to drag his nails down over it, leave his marks. He tugged it up, making Jim break away from him so Ross could get it over his head, then made short work of Jim’s belt and jeans, shoving at them until they could be kicked off. Jim was hard, and he took Ross’ hand and put it on his cock before kissing him again. 

‘Come on soldier-boy.’ he panted, his dimples flashing at Ross. ‘Show me how fucking strong you are.’ 

‘Christ.’ Ross moaned, manhandling Jim around so his back was to the wall and then shoving him up against it. He got Jim by the neck and kissed him, their tongues tangling in a frantic dance. He got Jim’s wrist in his other hand, pinning it against the wall, and Jim broke away from him, moaning loudly.

‘Do it.’ he said, locking eyes with Ross, pupils wide. ‘Come on, Poldark. Fuck me.’ He grabbed hold of Ross’ t-shirt, yanking it over his head and chucking it on the floor, fingers dragging over Ross’ nipples. Ross worked on his jeans, shoving them down, already so hard it hurt. He hiked Jim’s leg up over his hip, fingers going straight to where Jim wanted them, sliding one finger in easily. Jim was still reasonably loose from the morning and he whined as Ross worked it in and out a few times. 

‘Come on.’ he panted. ‘I’ll be fine. Just fuck me.’ 

‘Hang on.’ Ross managed to extricate his finger and pushed back from Jim. ‘Stay the fuck there.’ He shimmied out of his jeans and briefs and almost galloped naked into the kitchen to grab the emergency lube. He ran back as gracefully as one could with a raging hard on and went back in the room. Jim was just where he’d left him, leaning against the wall and panting hard. Ross opened the lube and coated his fingers and Jim obediently hiked his leg back up again, hissing as Ross got two fingers inside him. He held onto Ross’ upper arms, the pressure of his fingers making white marks, his moans going up a notch as Ross found his prostate and pressed into it. Ross watched him, entranced by the play of emotions over Jim’s face, the helpless desire that was so easy to read. 

He didn’t take too long, his own need driving him forward, pulling his fingers out and getting his hands under Jim’s thighs. He lifted and Jim jumped into his arms, and they hit the wall. It was only a moment of working things out and then Ross had him pinned, guiding himself in with one hand while Jim wrapped both arms around his neck and locked his ankles at the small of Ross’ back. It was so good, so effortless. They locked eyes, faces only an inch apart.

‘So how am I doing so far?’ he asked and Jim’s hazy return smile was all he needed to answer that question.

‘So fucking good.’ he panted. ‘Now fucking move, baby. I want to feel you.’ He scratched at Ross’ shoulders, the flickers of pain making Ross swear. He shifted closer to the wall, and started thrusting up against Jim, hips driving almost brutally hard. 

‘Kiss me.’ he demanded and Jim surged forward, their mouths connecting forcefully, spit and tongues and teeth making a mess. Their competing moans got louder and more fevered as they drove each other to the edge, and then Jim bit down on Ross’ lip and clenched tightly around him and Ross lost control, slamming into him and coming so hard his knees almost gave way. He felt Jim clench again, convulsively this time as he hit his own orgasm. 

Ross slowed and then stopped, bracing so he could pull out and put Jim down. They leaned against each other, still trying to get their breath back. Ross leaned in and kissed him, pushing Jim’s sweaty hair out of his face. 

‘Yeah.’ he said, ‘I really like this living together thing.’ Jim looked up at him, hand on Ross’ chest and laughed.

‘It definitely has its advantages.’ he replied. His eyes were bright. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you back.’ Ross said. Then on a whim, he reached down and picked Jim up, one arm under his knees and the other around his back.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ Jim laughed, putting his arms around Ross’ neck. Ross hefted him. 

‘Carrying you over the threshold.’ he said, grinning. ‘In a matter of speaking.’ 

Jim was still laughing when they made it up the stairs and into the bedroom.


	6. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the housewarming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now a direct link into Dark Horse. things are finally falling into place.

Sunday morning was silent as the grave.

When Jim finally came back to a state of semi consciousness, he was a little alarmed to find that he was one of three people in the bed. He was even more alarmed to find that the third person was Verity, and that she was sleeping facing him, one hand under her cheek and her sweet face completely angelic.

That was until she snored.

The third party was lying opposite to them, tucked between them and with Jim’s arms around his legs. There were the unmistakable water buffalo noises coming from under the duvet at the foot end of the bed and Jim stifled a laugh at the realisation that the Poldark cousins shared more than just their dark eyes.

Not that he could blame either of them. It had been one hell of a party.

He let go of Ross’ legs and sat up, the headache behind his eyes getting marginally worse. He was still dressed, having only stopped to take his shoes off before collapsing on the bed it would seem. There was no movement from either of his companions and Jim tucked the duvet over Ross’ feet before he decided that he needed rehydration.

He stumbled into the bathroom to rinse his mouth out and drink from the tap, then decided that he was better off having something with sugar in it. As he left the room and started his still rather unsteady descent down the stairs, Jim was amused to see that Carter, Holmewood, Angelina and Demelza had all piled onto the spare bed like puppies and were sleeping in a heap of arms and legs.

Downstairs he found more bodies scattered about. Collette and Carslisle had commandeered the sofa bed and Edgeware and Jay had found a comfortable place to sleep in the two armchairs. There was no sign of Harry, Litchfield or Becca.

It had been a good night. Jim had felt some trepidation at meeting Ross’ polo team for the first time, but had been delighted to find they were all really lovely people. Not only that, but he could see how relaxed and happy Ross was around them. It had made him feel so much better knowing that this was what Ross had had to keep him going while he’d been in Nicaragua.

He went into the kitchen and found a lone can of coke that had been spared the slaughter of the night before. He took it and cracked it open, then went to the back door, opened it and stepped out into the morning sun. A quick sweep solved the mystery of what had happened to Harry. His bivouac was set up at the bottom of the garden, hanging from the gnarled oak tree that shaded the area next to the well. Jim also noticed that the shed door was ajar, and a quick inspection found the Litchfield’s strewn across the floor inside, Becca draped over her insensible husband.

Jim chuckled and stepped back. As he did, he bumped into a solid weight at his back and spun around. It was Harry, tin mug in one hand and toothbrush in the other. His sandy hair was dark with water and spiking all over the place.

‘Morning.’ he said and smiled. His eyes were bloodshot but he seemed more or less human. ‘You’re actually up. That’s quite a feat.’

‘You know me.’ Jim said, grinning. ‘I recover fast.’ There was a hint of something on Harry’s face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. Not quick enough though. ‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ Harry replied. Jim sighed.

‘Spit it out, Campbell.’ he said. ‘What?’ Harry sighed and looked back up at the house. He gestured with his head towards the bottom of the garden and Jim followed him. There was a small ridge that overlooked the footpath below and the fields beyond and they sat down together.

‘Last night.’ Harry said. ‘You want to explain what happened?’ Jim frowned.

Then he remembered. It had only been a moment and he had been pretty sure that he’d glossed over it, but then Harry had known him a long time. And he’d seen it. And Jim knew better than to lie to him.

‘It was the fireworks.’ he said. ‘That first one. It was like I was right back in it.’

‘That will happen.’ Harry said. ‘When it does, the important thing is to realise that’s a completely normal reaction. You’re still combat happy.’

‘It wasn’t exactly combat, Harry.’ Jim sighed. ‘And after what you and Ross have been through, I feel kind of silly comparing it.’

‘So don’t compare it.’ Harry said. ‘Jesus, what you’ve just been through is our fucking worst nightmare. Ross and I have been through shit and seen a lot of hairy moments, but we’ve always had someone to fall back on. We’ve never been alone with it. That takes serious balls, my friend.’ He put his hand on Jim’s shoulder. ‘Just remember to breathe. And when it comes you shouldn’t fight it, just ride it out. You’ve seen what happens when you fight.’

‘Ross.’ Jim said. That was all that was needed.

‘You’re going to be okay.’ Harry said. ‘You’re tough. And you’re hard inside, not like he is. Deep down, Ross should never have been a soldier. He’s too sensitive, too compassionate. He has too many ghosts.’

‘And I don’t?’ Jim said. Harry gave him a serious look.

‘From what I hear, you killed yours.’ he said.

It was like a kick in the teeth. Jim could actually feel the nausea curling in his stomach. He closed his eyes, fighting the surge of feeling it brought on, then finally opened them again.

‘Ross told you.’ he said.

‘Yes, he did.’ Harry replied. ‘He’s only told me, before you ask. And I know the need to keep shit like that under wraps.’ He sighed. ‘He needed to talk about it. I don’t think he’s been able to understand how to help you with this.’

‘I don’t understand how to help me with this.’ Jim said. ‘Shit, it’s not like I even feel bad for doing it. I think that’s the worst fucking part.’ He dug his toes into the ground. ‘Ross came back a mess because he was fucked up about getting people killed. I’ve come back and it’s like nothing happened to me at all. I keep waiting for it to kick in, but all I feel is angry.’

‘You react in different ways.’ Harry said. ‘Ross got depressed and you get angry. It doesn’t mean it’s not the same thing, just that you process it differently.’ He looked at Jim. ‘He’s been so worried about you. While you were gone and he didn’t know what was happening to you, he almost lost it.’

‘I know.’ Jim said. ‘I tried to keep things from him, but last week I just needed to talk and he wanted me to, so I told him everything.’ He sighed. ‘I don’t think that was a very good idea now that I’ve had a chance to think about it.’

‘You did the right thing.’ Harry said. ‘He needed to know and you needed to tell him.’

‘Have you told Alec everything you’ve done?’ Jim asked. Harry’s face darkened.

‘Not everything.’ he said. ‘Some things never need to see the light of day ever again. But he knows most of it. It’s why we’re still together.’ He smiled at Jim. ‘If they still love you after you’ve told them you’ve killed someone, they’ll love you forever.’

‘It wasn’t a club I really wanted to join.’ Jim said.

‘I know.’ Harry replied. ‘None of us ever do.’ He got up. ‘Look I need to head out. I’ll call you later, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Jim said. ‘Thanks, Harry.’

‘No worries, mate.’ Harry said. He got up, and rested his hand on Jim’s shoulder again. ‘You shout if you need me.’

‘I will.’ Jim replied. He watched Harry walk back up the garden and then turned back to look at the fields.

************

Ross was coming down just as harry was going out the front door. They locked eyes.

‘He’s outside.’ Harry said. He knew without asking who Ross was looking for, who Ross was always looking for. ‘You okay?’ he knew that Ross had seen what he had the night before, that little moment when Jim had jumped at the sound of the firecracker going off and his change from laughing and smiling to cold and alert in less than a second. Harry also knew that it had frightened the hell out of Ross to see Jim like that.

But then Ross had never seen that side of Jim, never had cause to. Harry on the other hand had been party to a certain fight in a certain night club after Jim and Greg had had a particularly nasty argument, had seen how violent and destructive Jim could be, how his temper could flare out of control. It was very easy to understand how Jim could have done what he did.

‘I’m okay.’ Ross replied, but there was a tiny note of uncertainty in his voice. ‘You going back to the base?’

‘Yeah. I’ll catch up with you later.’ Harry said. He waved and walked out the front door, pulling it closed behind him. Ross went into the hall to check the catch had fastened properly. Then he turned and looked back the cottage.

Next to him on the floor, were two pairs of boots. His parka and Jim’s biking jacket were hung up on the hooks behind the front door. Their keys lay together in the wooden box on the console table.

Everything two by two.

The furniture was in. Their bed had been christened on more than one occasion. Their hands had touched every surface in their home. If Ross put his hand to the wall and scratched the paint, he felt like love would bleed out it.

What bothered him more than anything, a thought too terrible and dark to even consider, was would it be enough?

He walked out through the kitchen to the back door and into the garden. As he came out the house, he saw Litchfield and Becca staggering out of the shed.

‘Don’t even try and blame me.’ Becca was saying, her hand to her eyes to ward off the sun.

‘It’s your fucking recipe.’ Litchfield said. They gave Ross a ginger wave as they passed him. Ross chuckled and headed down the garden.

Jim had his back to him, but Ross knew he’d heard him coming. There was an air of expectation about him. There had been since he’d come back, like he expected Ross to take one look at him and turn tail.

_I understand if you want to put it off. Moving in together is a big step and you may not want me with the state I’m in._

_Don’t say that. I will always want you, regardless of what’s happened. We’re moving in together next week and that’s the end of it._

Well, Jim wasn’t going to get any satisfaction on that front out of him today.

Or ever.

He went over and sat down behind him, legs on either side of Jim and put both arms around Jim’s neck, his chin resting on Jim’s shoulder.

‘I love you.’ he said and felt Jim smile against his arm.

‘I love you too.’ he replied.


End file.
